Everyone remembers their first black tie event (or at least that’s what I’ve been told), but even with hundreds under the belt, there’s still a few nuggets you may have overlooked. For example, did you know that bum bags are not considered formal attire? (Even Cinnamoroll-themed bum bags, if you can believe it.)
You know that famous question that’s like ‘would you rather be overdressed or underdressed to meet royalty?’ Well, you’ll never have to worry about your answer ever again (after years of constant concern, I am here to help) because 1: this guide is going to fix all of your event dress code troubles and 2: by the time I’m finished with you, YOU’RE the one that’s going to look like royalty. Or something.
Keep reading to find out how I, a fashion icon, am going to turn you, a measly little muggle, into the most legendary character at the next black tie event. I swear, there’s even going to be a hashtag dedicated to you.
First things first, you’re going to want to check your wardrobe to see if you have any spicy little numbers that may have somehow slipped your mind. Personally, I did this recently and came across a gold-sequinned dress that I’d pre-bought to motivate myself to accomplish all of my dreams before reaching the age of 25. And no, I don’t want to talk about it.
Men, you’re going to want to keep it simple and classy. Be sure to opt for a sleek, dark suit that fits well and would suit super cute Welsh-dragon-engraved cufflinks (or any other we-love-Wales design would also suffice, I guess).
A tuxedo is a classic choice, but make sure that you follow these three rules:
1. Know thyself and don’t try to squeeze into a ‘quirky uncle at a wedding’ in lieu of ‘dapper gentleman’ tux.
2. Fit is everything: no ifs, and not saggy tuxedo butts.
3. Fabric, like size, matters. Consider the occasion and climate before choosing between wood, silk, velvet, vibes.
Ladies, it’s time to unleash that guilty pleasure of a gown that I just know you’ve got tucked away somewhere. Despite the colour description in the name ‘black tie event’, the dress can be literally any colour that your heart desires (and I, an experienced black-tie-event-goer, absolutely already knew this), although a subdued evening-appropriate colour might be best.
And yes, I already know what you’re going to ask: the Girl on Fire dress that Katniss Everdeen wore that one time would be iconic.
Remember those Welsh dragon cufflinks that we spoke about and definitely agreed upon wearing earlier? Well, there’s several more super epic accessories that you’re going to want to consider.
For example, a bow tie or necktie is non-negotiable for those who have wonderful necks, and a black or subtle pattern is the most suitable. However, I did just see a necktie online with bright green lettering that read, not even remotely Irish which for whatever reason made me laugh until I cried.
(Avoid that necktie, btw. This was a funny anecdote, not a suggestion.)
Then, you might consider picking out a pocket square. Personally, I don’t understand what pocket squares are for (like, are they just old snot holders? Do you use them to store magical beans? When they get dirty, do you tuck them back in..?), but I do agree that they add a dash of flair to a suit jacket. Extra points if you can fold it into a crane before you pop it in.
In regards to jewellery, low-key is best: I’m thinking cute hair pins, sleek wristwatches, or one of those flowers that people wear during La Feria in Andalucía (it is the season, after all). Just make sure to keep all jewellery the same colour (could you imagine golden rings with a silver necklace? Gasp, the horror!) and relatively classy.
For those who were not social media active during this very specific moment of time, I am referring to footwear. Like good jamón, that reference alone made me feel especially aged (and yes, my mind is still focused on the Spanish hair flower accessory).
Those opting for more masculine attire should go for either black patent leather oxfords or formal dress shoes. Think sleek, polished, and if possible, a tad Casino-Royale-y. You’re going to want people to try to honeypot you, based merely on the shine of your shoes (note: that is great fashion advice but very bad dating advice).
For women, heels are the traditional choice at black tie events. Whilst you could get away with especially snazzy flats, I think we all agree that we are just gagging to see those calf muscles in a solid pair of heels.
And for all genders, remember that whilst black tie outfits can reach prices of, ‘wu-woh, turns out my kidneys are for sale,’ a fancy price tag — in shoes, dresses, whatever — doesn’t guarantee style. As long as you feel comfortable and look badass, you really needn’t go crazy on the budget.
In the same confident way that I just called you ‘babyyy’ (with three y’s, no less), you should be confident in the way that you present your wonderful self.
From personal experience, I can tell you that even the most questionable fashion choices can seem like a stroke of genius when worn with confidence (although perhaps everyone I’ve ever gone to an event with would disagree).
Now, we already know that you’re a gorgeous god of a human being, but once you know that, it’s all over for us, honestly. Wear your incredible little outfit with style and rehearse your ‘oh, this old thing?’ response and the whole event space is yours, I promise.
And if I may be the first one, where did you get those incredible Welsh dragon cufflinks?
Black tie events are badass, you’re badass, and your future Instagram hashtag is badass. And it’s all thanks to me, the best writer in the world 😎
(See, there’s some of that undeserved confidence you should be rocking.)
When it comes to black tie events, the dress code might seem a tad restrictive, but truly, the possibilities are endless. Whether you’re opting for timeless elegance in a tailored tuxedo, embracing your inner fashionista in a show-stopping gown, or adding a touch of personality with steel toe cap work boots (there’s another fun anecdote that you perhaps shouldn’t replicate), the key is to have fun and own your look.
Now, go out there and socialise! The world of black tie events is now truly your oyster (or cockle, if I may).